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I had nearly forgotten.

I woke once.  But, I got 7 1/4 hours (yes, I’m counting 1/4 hours, it matters) which I haven’t seen in I don’t even know how long.

Pdoc put Seroquel on board yesterday.  This is my second go-round with it, but it worked last time.  I quit it for 2 reasons.  When the new year started and I had to meet a deductible again, it was difficult to afford.  It made me gain weight.  Fast.  A lot.

But, it worked.  Mostly.

Mostly is better than what I’ve been having lately, and I’ll take it.  I’m begging for remission.  I’d pay good money for remission.  But, right now, I’ll take “mostly”, or even “some”.

I mostly just want the bliss of sleep.

Sleep matters.  It relaxes us.  It helps wipe the slate of the racing thoughts.  The hurt of pain of those who haven’t understood or have been downright rude, disrespectful or mean.

But, most of all, it relieves a trigger.  If I can sleep at night, than I don’t worry about whether or not I’ll be able to sleep at night.  I don’t lay awake in anguish wondering why oh why am I awake even though I am exhausted.  I know that the peace of sleep will be mine, if I can just push through this damnable day.

Seroquel sleep, for me, is definitely a druggy sleep.  If hubby banged pots and pans right next to me, I probably wouldn’t wake.  It’s not the sleep I prefer.  But it’s the sleep that I get.

Right now, I’ll take what I can get.

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