I’m feeling very blah today. I’ve been on crutches for my second surgery for a week now, and I’m over it. I still have at least a week to go though. So, I’m basically bed-bound. Which sucks. And I can’t quite get comfortable. Which sucks.
MIL went to the store earlier. She bought a bunch of stuff we don’t need, won’t eat, will end up throwing away and then she’ll complain that she has no money. Which sucks. I keep asking her not to buy so much junk food, because we don’t need it, won’t eat it, will end up throwing most of it away. Which sucks. Hubby has his own stash that I use to pack his lunches and I will just have a Seroquel binge if there is other stuff around. But, she did buy it. Because, she always does. And I will binge on it. Which sucks. The only way to hold the binge to a minor glutton incident is to stay in my room. Which…say it with me…sucks.
I wish that I could muster an emotion other than anger, frustration, irritation or fuck it. Is fuck it an emotion? It is now.
There are things that I could be looking forward to. But I don’t. I feel no anticipation.
I feel beaten into submission. Not angry, not sad, but not happy either. Today I just exist.