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So, it’s 3:15 am here on the East Coast of the US and I’m awake.  I have a small hangover from the sleep meds, but on the whole, I’m awake.  I went to sleep pretty early though, so it’s ok.

But, my mind will not. shut. up.  My brain is moving at 1000 mph and I’m just trying to catch snippets at this point.  Complete thoughts are nearly impossible.  I had a good one earlier, but it’s gone already

Hubby let me down the other day.  One of the very few times he has ever done that. So, while he is forgiven, I’m still disappointed.  But, I tried to explain to him that my job is to take care of this house.  That’s what I do for a living.  My office is my kitchen.  It is the hub from which everything flows.  That’s why I need MIL to leave it be as much as possible.   I gave him an example that is relevant to his life, but he still doesn’t get it, and he said so.   Possibly the fact that I live in the place that I work is part of the problem and he has no frame of reference for that.  I don’t know.  Yesterday, I cleaned out the fridge from all the old food she had shoved in there, and I could barely lift the bag when I was done.  Ridiculous.  A food pantry could have done a lot with that food.

Joe and I went shopping last weekend for some clothes.  He needed new sneakers and I needed new fat girl clothes.  I found myself doing something really disturbing while I shopped.  I looked for clothes that are psych ward acceptable.  No drawstrings.  No underwire (that’s not actually an option).  No weird little embellishments that would be able to be used as a weapon by McGyver.  Comfortable.  Pants to go along with nightgowns.  This was seriously disturbing!  I cannot base my wardrobe around what I will be allowed to wear if I am admitted to a psych ward.  It’s ridiculous, but I did it anyway.

So, it’s raining here.  Biblical rain.  Not gonna stop for days.  We’re expecting 8-12 inches, but when I talked to hubby when he got home from work, he said that it had been changed to 18″.  I have the weather channel on now, just to see what they are saying now.  It is pouring outside.  The house is on pilings, but I hear the sump pump under the house come on every couple minutes.  At least it’s working.  I’m grateful for that.  My phone keeps getting alerts of flash flooding.  The county that I live in has a bunch of islands, but I’m not close to them.  But since I live in the same county, I get all the alerts.  I’m not saying it’s going to be nice here by any stretch, but I shouldn’t see flash floods as I have no other water source nearby.  At any rate, it should make a relaxing day for hubby and me.  Can’t go outside.

Oops there’s another flash flood warning on my phone.  Maybe I can’t sleep cause of all these stupid alerts.  No not stupid.  Very important but not necessarily useful to me.

Ooh they just said another 12-15 inches of rain.  Yikes!  If it were snow it would be 36-45 inches which I would just freaking LOVE!

Hubby and I are going north next weekend to see my parents, grandmother and his kids.  We’re really excited about it but it will take a lot out of us.  It’s a long drive to get there, then we stay for 2 days and then a long drive home.  But, sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do.

I miss my grandmother desperately.  My grandfather died in January.  It was a sad lingering death.  We kept telling him we would take care of Mommom, it’s ok to let go, we love him and we know he loves us.  But it was still a few days that he lingered.  Not able to talk, not able to move, medicated so he shouldn’t have been feeling any pain.  He was 95.  She is now 96 and if he were still alive, they would have celebrated their 73rd wedding anniversary in June.  Just amazing.  These are my father’s parents.  Wonderful people.  My grandfather was a Methodist Minister and he and my grandmother are the kindest people I’ve ever know.  Not once, in all of my crazy past, did they ever abandon me.  They may not have agreed with my choices, but they loved me no matter what.  And they didn’t just talk the talk, they walked the walk.

On the other hand, my parents disowned me multiple time.  I’m afraid to see their will when they die.  There must be codicils upon codicils.  My brother has been disowned a bunch, too.

My brother and I both hover somewhere around upper lower class and lower middle class.  My parents hang out in the lower upper class.  They wield their money like a weapon and I don’t care anymore.  They can keep it.  I’ve told them I don’t care anymore, just leave enough to bury them.  I’m done being scared of their threats to take away the inheritance.  I’m doing ok.

I’m off to read everyone else’s blogs then play a game.

4:07 and all is well!!  (reasonably)