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Today I closed a chapter of my life.  Again.  I think I’m on attempt 5 or 6 by this point.

My shoes, and to a lesser extent, my purses, defined my professional life.  I wore plain clothes but my shoes were peep  toe 4″ aqua colored with white polkadots.  Or white and red candy stripe, again 4″ peeptoe.  Deep purple closed toe, grey, tan and on and on and on.  All all with a 3-4″ heel.

I will never wear those shoes again.  Too much time has passed and my mental issues have not gotten better.  If anything, they’ve gotten worse.   I’ve been off 4″ heels for years and it would take practice to start over.  Plus, let’s face it, I don’t need a flashy pair of pumps to go empty the dishwasher.

I will never wear those shoes again.  I’m just a smidge over the line of being considered petite (in height, in height) so every pair of pants I buy is too long.  No big deal when you’re running around the office in 4″ heels.  Now everything must be hemmed.  And since I don’t know how to hem pants, I just so my best not to step on them.

I went on the great shoe purge because we are just out of space.   And I have finally come to (uneasy) terms with getting rid of them because I will never be wearing them again.  I have two full bags of my beautiful beautiful shoes in the back of my car for the Goodwill.  Along with a bag of coats that no longer fit and a heavy duty comforter.  Now I just have to drum up the mental fortitude to actually stop at Goodwill and take these things out of my car.

But, when I finally release these shoes to Goodwill, I will be saying goodbye to yet another piece of my professional life.  Logically, I know that a return to work is never going to happen.

Emotionally, I still haven’t let it go.