I woke up this morning pissed off.  I really hate that.  Even if I had weird or bad dreams, I would hope that I would be at least relieved to wake up.  But, pissed off?  Hate.

I did have some kind of weird dream last night.  I don’t remember it, but I woke myself up explaining something to someone.  I hate waking up because I’m talking.  It’s so weird.

I know it’s probably the cast.  It’s so hard to get anything done at all.  I wish, if I had to break something, that it would have been my left arm.  I’m willing to accept the break.  I just want it to change to the other arm.

We leave for  vacation  on Saturday.  I have a LOT to do to get us ready.  We haven’t been on a real actual vacation in over four years.  Considering how hard hubby works, he really deserves it.

Had pdoc appointment yesterday.  She had lowered my Lamictal from 200 to 100 a few weeks ago, and that has worked out pretty well.  My memory is returning and I’m able to have conversations without spacing out in the middle.  My moods have been generally decent.  The one major issue is how fast the moods can change.  I don’t see the change coming.  It happens in the time it takes to snap your fingers.  I can’t defend against that.  By the time it happens, it’s already too late.

Considering that, it probably seems counterproductive to request that she lower my Seroquel XR as well.  I can no longer handle the weight issue.  I would rather be crazy and only 50 pounds overweight then 100 pounds overweight.  She didn’t want to do it.  But, I’ve been screwing around with the same 3 pounds for weeks and I’ve had it.  If I hate my body (which I do) the depression and anger from that is going to affect the moods anyway.

I’ve been reading your blogs, although I’m rarely commenting because it’s so hard to type.  I can stand it long enough for a small post, but not much else.

Here’s hoping the anger fades before I have to brave Walmart this morning.