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Up early and I’m not feeling it already.  It’s dark, it’s cold, and since SC votes after NH the onslaught of political commercials is reaching its saturation point.

I was able to get myself an appointment at the pdocs office yesterday.  There is really something to say for having a good relationship with the receptionist or nurses or whoever schedules your doctor’s appointments.  I have to get through Roxanne to get to Dr. M. and she likes me, so she tries hard to help me.

ANYWAY, I told Dr. M that I’m done with this Seroquel XR / Lamictal/ Prozac combo. We’ve been playing with it for over a year.  We’ve tried so many different permutations that I’ve lost count.  The last straw was 50 mg in the morning of Lamictal, which made me severely anxious.  Even the 2 mg of klonopin I get per day wasn’t touching it and then I had no more klonopin for the day.

So, I went for blood work yesterday to check liver function, and assuming all of that is fine, I start Tegretol later today.  Goodbye Lamictal, goodbye Seroquel….don’t let the door hit you on the ass on the way out.  We’re also adding in Trazadone if needed for sleep.

I’m happy that we are finally trying something different.  But, at the same time, I’m worried about what will happen if it doesn’t work.  It’s, I think, a very common worry with any type of mental illness.  If the meds are an epic fail….well…that’s a big fat problem.

But, I’m going into this trying very very hard to be happy and upbeat about the situation. I’ve been labeled med and treatment resistant, but who knows, maybe it’s because I’ve never tried this one.

One thing that Dr. M. said yesterday that rankled me a bit was that Tegretol is a good medicine that works and she doesn’t know why doctors (including herself, I hope) have gotten away from prescribing it.  I wanted to scream at her that maybe it is the constant onslaught of drug reps coming in and out with samples and samples of all the newest crap. Look, it’s NEW, it must be GREAT!!!  But, what about the meds that have been around for forever.  They’re still being made because THEY WORK.  Otherwise, they would have stopped production of these meds years and years ago.

I go back to her in two weeks and, fingers crossed, I hope I will be feeling ok.  It will be great if I’m feeling great, but I’m shooting for at least ok.