Today is the first day since I’ve been back home that I’ve felt “normal”. I’m actually awake and not feeling like I’m coming down with something for the first time in a week. This weekend was probably the worst I’ve felt and I guess I’m making my way back up.
I have an enormous list of things I want to accomplish. Hubby did a lot of work while I was away and I have some reorganizing to do. I want to bake today. I need to do laundry. I need to clean. And I need to make sure I’m doing my self care. Which is, of course, the hardest part. It’s the part that I’m not as good at.
My brain is spinning around and around. This post is getting really difficult to write, because I keep losing my train of thought. So, I’m going to let it stand as it is.
Is it the beginning of hypomania? I don’t know. Maybe I’m going to feel like a “normal” person today.
We shall see.
Normal is out there 
So glad you wrote this! I ALWAYS feel like my hypo-mania is everyone else’s normal. Like, always. Is it, though? I’m still not convinced it’s not.
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I don’t know when the last time was that I can reliably say that I was “normal”. Not hypo, not anxious, not depressed. I literally have no frame of reference for this thing we call normal. This might be it. Might not. No clue.
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But, Leslie, aren’t we living our normal? After reading this exchange I’m realizing that we’re both deciding what normal is based on the opinion of others and our perception of them. Maybe we’re just non-normal people in a non-normal world. And maybe that’s ok.
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Ugh…have you been talking to my therapist? lol I’m still very stuck on my normal as being able to work. It is something that has defined my life since an early age (I used to clean shelves in my father’s store as a child) and something that I have always been happy doing. The faster the pace, the happier I was. I know now that there was a LOT of mania rolling around back in my history and a lot of depression, too. I still consistently refer to disability as unemployment. I have to change my mindset, but it has been a long process and I’m still not there.
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That makes PERFECT sense to me! I love it
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Keep trucking through my friend. Take a moment to relax if you need it. 🙂 You can do this!
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Thank you!!! I decided to bake so, cake pics later!
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Pics? How about “package of cake sent to me”? 😉 haha
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This is actually turning into one of those “looks like hell, but it still tastes good” cakes! lol
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I love hellish looking cakes! They’re my favorites 😉
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This one will definitely fit the bill. 🙂
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Woohoo!
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Sometimes it’s hard for us to distinguish our bipolar from what is “normal.” For example, if I’m feeling down, is it depression? or is it the normal kind of blues that everyone gets? I find myself seeking those answers all the time.
If you’re feeling “normal” today then enjoy it. Savor it. If it ends up the early stage of hypomania then deal with that later.
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Thanks Bradley. I think I might be actually feeling “normal” which is exciting. I can’t remember anything, but, one thing at a time!
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This is just a vague idea, but maybe, just for today, don’t label your mood. Just flow with things? And see where you ‘wash up with the tide’?
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It’s certainly worth a shot
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I hope your feeling of “coming down with something” is just residual stress from the past few weeks. Being sick now is just a bummer. And I hope that your mania (even if it’s hypo-) is kind to you.
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Thanks Michelle. I think my sick was a combination of what you said and allergies. It snowed in New Jersey…the trees are in bloom in SC. Big shift!
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Oh gosh! That sounds like a week here:) I hope you feel better!
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I hope your day went great! 🙂
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Thank you
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What is “normal”?!? That being said – I hope you have a great day and continue to have more great days!
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Somewhere between hypo and depression!
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