I’ve been puttering around the house most of the morning, sometimes being productive, sometimes not. Occasionally, I flip over to WordPress to see if anyone has written anything or to see if I have miraculously become inspired to post my own piece today.
And about 10 minutes ago, something my therapist is ALWAYS telling me popped into my brain. You should always write when you are happy, so that when you are feeling poorly you can look back over it and remember what happiness feels like. And to remind yourself that feeling happy is possible.
She’s a smart cookie that therapist.
It’s so easy to write when I don’t feel well. The ick flows from me and the rants come easily. Everything irritates me, everything makes me angry and everybody is an idiot. But, when I feel good, I’d rather be out getting things done, or otherwise using that good mood to get ahead before the next drop comes. I don’t want to take the time to document a good mood because I don’t know how long it will last and I don’t want to use it up sitting at the computer writing.
But, it matters. I don’t know why I’m in a good mood today. I think the new medication has a lot to do with it. I also think that MIL being at her sister’s house plays a part. I don’t have someone breathing down my neck wondering what I’m doing and why I’m doing it. I’m getting my alone time, but I’m getting it in my own home this time, and that matters, too.
The only things I’m really thinking about is what I want to do next. Bake something? (Hubby would love cookies) Clean something? (Maybe I should get a jump on those towels) Chill and enjoy?
It’s in the upper 80’s in SC today and the breeze is blowing around yellow clouds of pollen (yes you can really see it in the air) so going outside is out (I have the air on…in March…SMH)
But, I guess the main thing is that I feel lighter. I’m not miserable. And I can’t remember the last time I felt like this. There are a lot of things that I wish I could do (like get a job) that bother me constantly. Like pebbles in my shoes. And the pebbles aren’t gone, but today I was able to get the knots out of the laces and take the shoes off for a few minutes.
Will it last? Experience says no and I hate to be the pessimist but….experience says no. Hopefully I’ll get another couple days out of this at least.
That would be nice.