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Hiding in my room is quickly becoming my only option.

J is testing the boundaries of my medication on an hourly basis and I gotta say, the meds aren’t holding up too well.  He’s a trigger like none I have ever encountered.

Add to that the fact that hubby is tired of hearing me complaining and it’s gone from bad to worse.  Hubby says he works all night (I said ‘lucky you, you get to leave’) and deals with crap there, then he comes home and gets bombarded here.  And, I have to say, just for the record, that I DO understand what he’s saying, but it’s constant for me, too.  And J is not my kid!

Yesterday he got his wisdom teeth out.  On our dime of course.  I was able to take out on of those CareCredit cards that I always see at the vet.  Apparently they are not just for dogs and cats anymore.  You can use them in numerous places, including, lucky us, the dentist and oral surgeon.  So now I have a brand spanking new credit card debt to the thune of $2300.00.  Yes, he is supposed to pay us back when he has a job, but I’m not holding my breath.

He trashed me and hubby on Facebook yesterday because we wouldn’t give him the serious narcotic pain killers, because he is, in fact, a recovering drug addict, and he got that way through pain pills.  But, yesterday I knuckled under and gave him one pill.  Because I had to.  For MY sanity, I had to.  I didn’t want to, but I had to.

And I went to my room and cried and cried and cried, while the now Mr Happy-go-Lucky, played video games and went out to our little above ground pool and whatever else he did.

MIL comes home today.  As long term followers of this blog know, MIL and I have serious differences of opinion when it comes to how to treat “her baby”.  However, now, I can’t wait for her to get home.  I need a buffer so badly and she’s perfect at that.  Plus, she and I agree on a lot of the things that are going on with J, so it’ll be nice to have an ally.

And hubby’s not a bad guy.   Today will be his 15th day in a row at work, trying to earn the extra money we need to feed another person.  He’s just as overwhelmed as I am, but he handles it by getting annoyed.  I handle it by getting either pissed off or crying.

My therapist is on vacation.  I don’t like her replacement.  So, no therapy until next week, which sucks.  I need to vent.  I’m planning on having hubby come to the second appointment next week, so we can get sorted out.

I pretty much know what Karen is going to say, which happens when you are going to the same therapist for years.  She’s going to listen.  She will understand why I feel the way I do, and she will help me find a coping mechanism to deal with it.

It would be cool to have one of those big punching bags that I could just go crazy on when someone pisses me off.  But I hear those are expensive and I just got a big pile of debt on J’s wisdom teeth.

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