And I need her NOW. I have an appointment tomorrow and she’s still on vacation today, so I’ll definitely have to wait.
But I know longer know how to function with the addict who sleeps on my sofa, otherwise known as my oldest stepson J.
He’s 27. He came to us with only the clothes we bought him while he was in rehab. So of course hubby took him out to buy him some shorts and a pair of shoes he can wear when he finally starts work.
Then we spent $2300 (thank God for credit cards) to get all 4 of his wisdom teeth taken out, plus another $100 for meds. Once again proving to him that he doesn’t need health insurance, someone else will pay for it.
I woke up the other morning and went and sat on the loveseat. His bathing suit was there (I can’t even deal with that part) and in the pocket – VISIBLE TO ME (I did not go digging), were 5 syringes. I brought them out to our little pool, where hubby was sitting and showed him. When J finally came outside he tried to tell us that he had brought those from home. But, I looked at them. They were cat syringes for diabetes that I had meant to donate to the SPCA when Leila died. But I has forgotten all about them until J discovered them. The story we were finally able to get was that he found the syringes, and walked to Walmart in the middle of the night hoping that the $5.00 in his pocket would get him some heroin.
I seriously don’t know what to do. I’m barely holding myself together (probably should have gone to replacement therapist, but I really don’t like him) from the bipolar and depression. Then you throw all this bullshit on top and I’m paralyzed.
I have to find a way to be ok personally, while triggers bounce all around me.
morgueticiaatoms said:
Dude! J likes sharp things, get a freaking Z-Whacker already and coat it in Seroquel so he goes for a sleepwalk and doesn’t come back…
Oh, that was mean, wasn’t it? I suck.
Just hate seeing you so stressed, you don’t deserve it.
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Leslie said:
It was funny though. I’m the hard ass….It’s hubby who’s all “we can’t yell at him” blah blah blah. I have no idea what he’s talking about.
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morgueticiaatoms said:
J needs the apron strings cut with a chainsaw. He’s had his chances. Coddling is just enabling. Unfortunately, does not sound like hubby will ever get that.
Me, personally…I don’t enable my kid even at 6. I tell her when she’s misbehaving and I tell her when she’s hurt someone’s feelings. No coddling, just a softer touch than yelling. Surprise, if a six year old survives it, a 27 year old can.
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Leslie said:
Yeah that’s my point, too. Whatever.
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anthromichelle said:
I’m so so sorry. I hope your appointment comes with much needed relief and that a solution comes up.
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Leslie said:
Thanks Michelle! Me too
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Jess Melancholia said:
Hang in there Leslie! I know things are so tough right now but you are strong. I’m sorry you have to go through all that.
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blahpolar said:
Shit it sounds bad, I’m so glad it’s not too long till you see your therapist
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Leslie said:
Me, too Blah. Thanks!
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Cooking For The Time Challenged said:
That just sounds so awful! I am so sorry that you are going through this. Sending love and healing your way.🙏
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Leslie said:
Thank you.
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Drew Sheldon said:
Yuck. You do not deserve this b.s. And J is not being helped by the continued enabling (which I know is not your choice). He will not get better until he has no other choice. I have struggled with alcohol myself and didn’t start getting better until I realized I was killing myself. After my nephew got into heroin, I was the first in my family to turn him in for stealing and caught an avalanche of grief for it. Everyone eventually did the same. I gave him one more chance after my mom died, and he blew that one too. He’s now 26 and in prison for the second time.
I hope your husband comes to grips with what needs to be done soon. I’m really glad you get to see your therapist tomorrow. Good luck.
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Leslie said:
Oh Drew, thank you so much for this. J is looking for pot and has polished off several bottles of our alcohol. He is telling hubby that if he smokes pot and drinks then he doesn’t feel like he needs to do heroin. ????? So high and drunk is the way he wants to go????? I don’t get it
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Drew Sheldon said:
Not only does that not really help, he’ll definitely end up back on heroin that way. So sorry. Please take care of yourself. I really hope this does not continue.
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Leslie said:
I do, too. Thank you!
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Bradley said:
I’m sorry you are going through this. As a parent I can only imagine what a nightmare. I can’t tell you what you should do, but I can tell you what worked for me – I’m a meth addict and alcoholic. My bottom occurred when all my family and friends “turned their backs on me.” They knew they shouldn’t enable me any longer.
It became pure hell, but I was lonely and had enough. I’m now clean and sober for over 12 years and have thanked them all for helping save my life.
One warning. As I said, this worked for me, I can’t say it works for everyone, but it does sound like he’s ripping your family apart.
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Leslie said:
Congratulations Bradley for getting, and staying, clean. And thanks for the advice. I really appreciate it.
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Sandy Sue said:
I almost can’t bare this, so I can’t even start to imagine being YOU! All unacceptable. That therapist can’t get back soon enough.
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Leslie said:
When she came back and I told her how badly I had needed her but how much I didn’t like her replacement, she told me she would find me a new fill-in therapist just for me. Total relief!
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Pieces of Bipolar said:
Phew! Addicts are so difficult to deal with. I take my hat off to you for keeping it together and understand how difficult it must be living amongst so many triggers. I hope your therapy session goes well and you and hubby can compromise on an efficient and fair way to deal with J that doesn’t compromise your health. Will be thinking of you ((hugs))
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Leslie said:
Thanks Pieces!
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