This is not the post I was going to write today. I had an extremely good therapy session this morning and had a post almost completely together in my head by the time I left there.
But, logging on to WordPress this afternoon, I soon saw the unbelievably sad news that one of our own is gone.
Blahpolar was a friend to many. She was certainly a friend to me. She wrote engaging blogs, not only for herself, but for Our Lived Experience. She also had a blog of photographs she took at the beach near her home. And she was good at what she did, both writing and photography.
She was supportive of others, even when she was suffering.
I feel some level of survivor’s guilt, and I know I’m not alone. Questions run through my brain at my typical rapid thoughts speed. But the answers to any of them change nothing.
But, there is anger. Yes there is. But not towards Blah, never towards her. Doctors who don’t believe us when we tell them the bizarre things we’re thinking. Psychiatrists who don’t work hard enough to help us because they don’t quite believe us. People in the general public who think that we are to be feared. News outlets who give the general public those ideas in the first place. Laws that keep us waiting for years for disability.
But, the time for me to act on this anger is not now.
Now, I’m going to mourn my friend. I’m going to say a prayer for her, because that’s how I cope with death.
If anyone, EVER, needs to talk, please feel free to get in touch with me at firstname.lastname@example.org
I love and value all of you and I want to make sure that you know that, because I hadn’t said it to Blah recently.