I’ve been sitting here with my head in my hands trying not to cry. Hypomania is back. I got a one day respite (sort of) from my one week stint of severe hypomania. I managed to book an emergency appointment with pdoc, so lucky, and she upped my mania medication. And it worked. For. One. Day.
Now, I’ve been up for hours giving me a total of 5 hours and change that I actually slept last night. That’s not enough for a normal human, let alone one like me. Hopefully, I’ll get a nap, but I seriously doubt it.
So far today, I’ve written in my “Blog Ideas & Thoughts” book, my “Political” book, my “Reminder” notebook and my “Therapy and Mood Notes” book. I didn’t even have this many books until this morning. I like the way it’s organized but I think the OCD tendencies have slipped some. My “Blog Ideas & Thoughts” book has some interesting notes on racing thoughts, but I’ll get to that later. In fact, every book has something in it.
I need my husband to get up. Conversation with him really does help, at least most of the time. But, I hear him snoring away, so it may be awhile.
In the meantime, I want to start every project under the sea. I’m forcing myself to do this, but I could be clipping coupons or cleaning the desk or cleaning the shelves or cleaning the bathroom floor or watering/weeding my garden or any number of things from baking a cake to getting a shower.
The list is exhausting and random and I will do it till I’m exhausted and I will do it randomly. And I will end the day feeling as though I got nothing done. Which is almost the worst part.
Well, the worst part except for the lack of focus, and the irritability and the “I’m so tired I’m going to cry” parts. They suck too.
There’s a lot more to say about hypomania, but it’s going to have to wait until I’m not hypomanic anymore.