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Yes, you read that right.  I say it that way because it’s how I felt.

So much energy and no focus.  I bop from task to task, finishing but a few.  Most are left in various states of completion.

The energy pulsing through my body is not the normal kind of energy that gives most the ability to complete tasks.  This is a thrumming.  My whole body vibrates.  I seek out tasks not because I want to get a bunch of things done, but because hopefully one of those tasks will take away this feeling.  If I can find just the right thing to do, maybe the thrumming will stop.

It doesn’t of course.  There is no “right task” to stop the vibrations.  They are just there.  And they will remain there until THEY decide to go away and give me some peace.

I harbor a sort of jealousy towards people who are artistic.  I read so often about how, when hypomania strikes they are able to paint and draw and do whatever artistic thing they do.  I am not artistic.  Yes, I can write a decent blog post, but not when hypomania strikes.  I swore here that I would come back and write when I was no longer hypomanic.  But, I guess I lied, because here I am trying to get this out while my body thrums from hypomania.

My psychiatrist has been messing with my meds recently.  I’ve been too tired, too hypomanic, too anxious.  It’s looking like in order to keep the hypomania down, I’m going to have to suck up the anxiety.  I’m taking a new medication called Vraylar.  It works great for the hypomania at 3 mg at night, but makes me unbelieveably tired the next day.  But at 1.5 mg it doesn’t do enough to take away the hypomania.   On the days I take 1.5 mg at night I can take my klonopin the next day for anxiety.  But on the other days, I can’t, because I’m already so tired.

So, I’m either hypomanic, or not but unable to treat my anxiety unless I don’t mind sleeping all day.

So, for today, I’m hypomanic, but can treat my anxiety.  YAY!

My new favorite shirt for hypo days.

Stop Talking