A normal night of sleep would be so great right now.
My insomnia got a little bit better for a few days and lulled me into a state of confidence. I started getting depressed and my pdoc put me on Remeron, which has to be one of the few medications that I’ve never been on before. And it helped with the depression AND the sleep. Instead of 5 hours, I was getting around 8. In a row. I need 10, but I was happy to take what I was getting.
The whole damn thing has backfired on me now. For the last several nights I’ve fallen asleep between 7 and 8. No problem. Hubby is up at 3:30am for work so we go to bed early. But, NOW I’m waking up around 11 or 12 and can’t get back to sleep. Tonight, I actually took 1.5 mg of Klonopin and got high. And fell back asleep. For 20 minutes. Twenty whole minutes.
So I’m up. It’s 3:11 am, I’m on my second cup of coffee and have no intention of trying to go back to sleep. I’m running the dishwasher and when that’s done, I’ll start laundry. This way, when I want to try to take a nap around 3, I won’t feel bad about it. And hubby is on a liquid diet tomorrow (today) for his colonoscopy on Monday, so I don’t even have to cook dinner.
The problem here, of course, is that my insomnia has been going on so long that my circadian rhythm is completely out of whack. I don’t have a job, so I guess it’s not that big a deal. But, I’d rather be snuggled in bed with hubby then watching Young Sheldon on Nick at Nite and being assaulted by my dog’s farts which are really awful tonight.
Pdoc is at the end of her rope with my insomnia. None of the meds are working the way they should. She gave me something (I can’t remember the name) that was supposed to put me down hard. She only gave me 7 days worth to fix things up. But, it didn’t put me to sleep. It made me wired. I was up for more then 24 hours in a row.
Now the Remeron did a good job at lifting my depression, but my anxiety is roaring back. We’re not sure if the depression has been hiding the anxiety and now that the depression is pretty well gone the anxiety is back. Or is the Remeron causing me to be anxious. Who knows. I can barely keep track of this stuff anymore.
I’m going for more coffee. And possibly a butt plug for the dog.