Below is a short post I wrote a little over a week ago while in the throes of an awful mixed episode. It’s been sitting in my draft folder and I never expected it to see the light of day. But, then Lucky Otter wrote her post Blogger’s Block and asked for us to tell her how we deal with writer’s block on our blogs. I explained about my folder bulging with drafts and she encouraged me to post one and see what happens.
So, while I do some research and thinking about my next post, I have decided to post this one. It’s a mess. It’s short, it has typos in it and ends very abruptly. But, in a mixed episode that’s pretty much what I get in all aspects of my life…very messy thoughts, unpredictable moods (more then usual) and I’m just as likely to walk away mid-thought as not. So, while it’s not a complete post I actually think it is very representative of how I function during a mixed episode.
So, here it is. Enjoy.
So much to say…so little energy to say it.
Of course, if I wait an hour, that could be different
I’ve been living in mixed episode hell since Saturday night. If one day is depression and the next day is hypomania, well, that’s one thing. But when they switch back and forth, minute to minute or hour to hour, that’s something else entirely.
I tried to explain to hubby how this feels, and while it’s impossible for him to really understand, I think he got the gist of it. So, at least he’s starting to really try to see what is going on and why it’s so hard. On my end, I’m trying very hard to make my mood shifts affect him and MIL.
But, a mixed episode with wear you out so fast. One minute you’re fighting depression and the next, you’ve flipped to hypomania and now you’re fighting the anger and frustration and anxiety that can so often go hand in hand with hypomania.